Love and Infidelity
by mymindislost
Summary: [postgame, spoilers] Five years after Vayne Solidor's defeat, Ivalice has more or less returned to normal. Ashe should be happy for her country, but she is feeling lonelier than ever, until a certain sky pirate returns. But, can she let go of the past?
1. Prologue: An Ideal Match

**Author's Note**: Hey guys! This is my first fanfic, so I would be eternally grateful for any suggestions you guys can give me to make my writing better, but please don't be too harsh. Anyway, I hope you guys like it!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy XII, or any other Final Fantasy for that matter, so please don't sue me. :D

**Prologue: An Ideal Match**

_Rasler_… _Rasler_… _Rasler_…

Rasler, the only name that rings through Ashe's mind as she sobs wretchedly, curled into a ball of despair in her bed. Rasler, the only word that ever gives her comfort. Rasler, the only image that brings her to her knees with a single envisioning. Well, almost the only…

_How could I_...

--- 4 years ago ---

Ashe closes the door to her bedchamber, leans against it with her back, and promptly slides to the floor in exhaustion letting out a heavy sigh. "Um, is there anything else you, uh, need, Your Majesty? Would you like some assistance in your bed preparations?" comes a nervous voice from the hall. "I thank you, no. I am quite fine," Ashe replies, still sitting on the floor. "Oh, alright. Goodnight, Your Majesty."

"If you say so…" Ashe utters to herself. "Goodnight," she answers louder, so her attendant can hear. She listens as the oddly tranquil footfalls move away from her bedroom.

When she can no longer hear those calming footsteps, Ashe lets her head limply fall back against the door with a metallic clink. _Ah yes, my crown. How could I possibly forget? It certainly is heavy enough_… Ashe rises to her feet with a grunt and drudges over to the vanity table in the corner.

The magicks in the lamps flicker to life as she plops down on the velvet cushioned chair. Light dances and glints off of the golden crown around her head and Ashe looks at herself in the mirror and lets out a sigh, augmented by a small whimper. How surreal it is to see her father's adornment resting on her own unworthy head. How ridiculous that it should now belong to her, that she is now the leader of an entire country.

Ashe wearily slips the crown off of her head and places it gingerly on its stand on the vanity table. She slowly rises and changes into her nightclothes. She feels so small lying in that large, cold bed and she is suddenly aware of the aches assaulting her consciousness from all parts of her tired body. It had been a long day of celebrating her coronation and it had taken all of her mental strength to appear joyous. When she awakes in the morning, she will be responsible for the lives of thousands of people.

_It is too much for one person to bear, but I must carry on. The people have been through so much. They need a strong leader, and I am the only one they have_…

Ashe quickly falls into a troubled sleep, filled with tossing and turning.

--- --- ---

…_a boom in the area's cactoid population as of late. They have begun to eat our crops in the field and have attacked merchants bringing much needed medical supplies. Therefore, we beseech Your Majesty to please send_…

Ashe allows the letter to fall from her hands and land on her desk. A frown crosses her face as she presses her fingers to her temple, her head throbbing from deep within._ Father always said ruling was tedious, but I never could have imagined it would be so much so. These past several months have been hell. No wonder he developed such an affinity for wyrmwine. I could use a glass myself_… The opening of her study's massive doors brings her out of her reverie.

An attendant enters with a paper in his hand, which he gives to her across her desk. "A message for Your Highness from the Emperor Al-Cid Margrace of Rozarria, arrived just a few moments ago." Ashe sighs. "I wonder what kind of assistance he could possibly need…" she mutters under her breath. She breaks the wax seal on the back, opens, and begins to review the contents of the letter.

_Your Highness, Queen Ashelia B'Nargin Dalmasca,_

_As you no doubt already have heard, a month ago, my dear father, may the Gods look on him with favor_…

"Excuse me, Your Majesty?"

Ashe's head shoots up from the letter and her eyes rest on the still present attendant. "Yes. What is it?"

"If you have no more need of me, I really should be returning to my duties downstairs, Your Highness…" the attendant replies sheepishly. "Oh. Of course. You are dismissed. Thank you." A sharp pain shoots through her head and Ashe remembers about her liquid relief. "Wait!" she shouts at the attendant right as he opened the doors once more. The attendant turns around immediately. "Could you perhaps send up a glass of wyrmwine?" The attendant bowed. "Of course, Your Majesty, but what kind?" Ashe sighs. "I don't care. Just send… something." The attendant blinks confusedly for a moment before bowing and closing the doors behind him.

Ashe tries to rub out the pain in her forehead, with no success, and returns to her letter.

_Your Highness, Queen Ashelia B'Nargin Dalmasca,_

_As you no doubt already have heard, a month ago, my dear father, may the Gods look on him with favor, died suddenly while sleeping, leaving me the ruler of Rozarria. Since the moment the crown touched my head, to my great annoyance, my advisors have been assaulting my ears with pleas for me to marry. After a month of their constant buzzing, I have decided to relent, if only so they will shut their mouths._

_Therefore, I write to you with a proposal. Your kingdom is still recovering from a dreadful war and there is still much to accomplish to that end. Therefore, I offer you my hand in marriage in exchange for the support Dalmasca desperately needs. It is an ideal match. I will have a queen and you will have the assistance your country requires. Please write your reply as soon as is possible._

_Yours, etc._

_Al-Cid Margrace Rozarria_

Ashe blinks once, twice, in mild confusion as to what she just read. _Proposal_…_? Marriage_… She reads the words again, just to make sure. She has to be sure that she read correctly, that those words are indeed written on that page. _Proposal_…_hand in marriage_… It is true. Al-Cid has, indeed, proposed to Ashe, albeit quite…unemotionally.

Ashe frowns slightly, thinking for a moment. _Well, alright then_…, she thinks with a light smile on her face. _Let's see, now_… Ashe opens a drawer, removes a piece of parchment, and wets her pen.

--- --- ---

The double doors of the royal bedchamber open and two raven-haired maidens step in, followed closely by Ashe and not so closely by Al-Cid, supported by another maiden. The two door attendants bow as Ashe and Al-Cid enter. The third attendant leads Al-Cid over to sit on the bed as Ashe surveys the room, the intricate decorations of the furniture, the softness of the curtains, until her eyes finally rest on the rather large portrait of her new husband set high on the wall. She lets out a sigh.

"You like it, my lovely Dalmascan flower?" Ashe spins around to face Al-Cid as he lounges on the bed and hears the low boom of the doors closing, leaving them alone for their honeymoon night. "It was done for my twentieth birthday. I can have a copy made, so that I might never leave your side when you are visiting Dalmasca. I know how greatly you would miss me on such an occasion." Al-Cid removes his sunglasses with a flourish and sets them on an end table next to the bed, then motions to a changing screen across the room. "I picked out something…. special for you to wear tonight. I hope you will like it. Why don't you get more comfortable?"

Ashe moans quietly, but she knows she has little choice. She cannot very well sleep in her voluminous wedding gown. She feels Al-Cid's eyes following her as she walks behind the changing screen. She grimaces. _I hate pink_.

Ashe secretly revels in the disappointment that crosses Al-Cid's face as she rounds the side of the changing screen. She surveys her outfit. She is wearing a matching linen camisole and short pants that cinch at the knee. She smirks a little, then looks back to him. "That is not what I selected for you," he says, not even attempting to mask his annoyance. "Everyone has to live with disappointment sometimes, even emperors," Ashe quips as she sits on the bed next to Al-Cid.

Ashe feels fingers run through her hair and a breath on her ear. The smirk quickly leaves her face and her eyes widen. "I did not say I was disappointed," Al-Cid coos in her ear. Ashe jerks her head around to face Al-Cid, reeling back slightly at the overpowering scent of alcohol on his breath. "You had too much to drink at the celebration. You do not know yourself." Al-Cid smirks and gently places a hand on Ashe's face. "So beautiful… Ashelia…" he barely whispers. _What is he_…

Suddenly, Al-Cid pushes her down on the bed, holding her by the shoulders and pinning her on the sides with his knees. "What are you doing?" she angrily snaps at him. Her eyes dart across his body and hers, surveying her situation, until they rest on his face and see the determination in his eyes.

One more moment and he is smothering her with kisses. After a little struggling, Ashe is able to turn her head away and Al-Cid moves his kisses to her neck. _Stop it_. _Stop it_. "Stop it!" she shouts in his ear. He is not deterred. Ashe tries to squirm free, but to no avail. Al-Cid shifts the weight on his legs slightly so that he might loosen his trousers. Ashe takes this opportunity to violently and swiftly knee him in his groin.

Al-Cid immediately falls onto the other side of the bed, doubled over in pain. Ashe flies out of bed and runs for the door. "Wait," comes a weak cry from the bed. "Please stay!" As the doors close behind her, she hears Al-Cid yell, "You are my wife! Please! Ashelia!"

Ashe darts into the adjacent bedroom and barricades the door with a ready chair. She pants and leans against the door to catch her breath. From the next room comes an angry, lonely wail in the form of her name. _This cannot continue_.

The next day, Ashe has her things moved to a room across the royal palace.


	2. Chapter One: Eyes of Infidelity

**Author's Note:** Chapter 1 is up! Hope you guys liked the Prologue. Teehee… Let me know if there are any mistakes or if it's too short or long. Constructive criticism is always appreciated. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy XII, or any other Final Fantasy for that matter, so please don't sue me. :D

**Chapter One: Eyes of Infidelity**

--- 1 year ago ---

Ashe has had trouble sleeping ever since she arrived in Rozarria, nearly three years ago. Her body is still having trouble adjusting to the Rozarrian climate. Moving to lush forest after being raised in a desert has been a challenge, to say the least. The air is much more humid than she has been used to and it has caused her some breathing difficulties, not to mention how frizzy her hair has become. Ashe moans at the thought.

Ashe has to admit, though, that the moist air is not her only, or greatest, difficulty. Ever since she wed the Rozarrian emperor, her dreams have been invaded by images of her previous husband, the Nabradian prince, Rasler Heios Nabradia. Those dreams have, so far, meant a short, troubled sleep, followed by sleeplessness for the rest of the night.

She has taken the opportunity of this insomnia to learn more about Rozarrian literature, with the help of the palace's extensive library. Until tonight, Ashe had confined her studies to her bedroom, but she has been growing tired of that room as of late. Tonight, she has chosen a parlor next to the entrance of the palace. Ashe selects a red velvet sofa to recline on as she continues reading the anthology of Rozarrian poetry she has been going through recently.

About an hour into Ashe's reading, the large doors of the palace creak open. Ashe's head shoots up. _Who could that be at so late an hour?_ She is answered by the raucous laughter of a woman and her very own husband, the emperor himself, Al-Cid Margrace. Ashe rolls her eyes. _Of course. Who else would it be? With another of his women, too_. Ashe sighed.

As they stumble into the great hall adjoining the parlor in which she sits, Ashe can see that the woman is a blonde and both are obviously inebriated. Ashe scoffs and continues to read. The couple notices her sitting in the parlor. The woman immediately silences her incessant giggling and both walk over to the doorway.

Ashe looks up from her book to find Al-Cid's face placed right in front of hers. She can see his slightly bloodshot eyes over his sunglasses. He cocks one eyebrow and grins at her. She gives a small annoyed huff and looks back to her book. Al-Cid dramatically rises again to his feet.

"How cold of you, my queen! To be rejected so cruelly by a woman such as yourself, it is more than my heart can bear." Al-Cid again lowers to Ashe's eye level, takes her hand, and gives it a light kiss. "You are most certain that you would not like to… join us, perhaps?"

Ashe's eyes immediately shoot up to look at him. She snatches her hand away from him and looks at him with the greatest expression of disgust and horror she can muster. She shoots a dirty look to the blonde at the doorway, who lowers her eyes timidly to the floor. Ashe looks back at Al-Cid and spits, "How revolting."

Al-Cid sighs nonchalantly, rising again to his feet, and makes for the doorway. "Have it your way, my Dalmascan flower," and, turning to his blonde companion, "Come, Dania. Let her toil away the night. It is not for us." Al-Cid puts his arm around Dania's shoulder and they both turn to leave the parlor and head upstairs, though with a more subdued manner than that which they entered the palace with.

Ashe continues to glare at them until they are out of her sight, then she goes back to reading her book. After a few moments, she hears the familiar voice of her husband echo from somewhere in the palace.

"Tonight, my darling, your name shall be… Ashelia…"

Ashe's eyes remain fixed on the words of the book, but she no longer reads them. Her mind barely begins to put together pieces that have been presenting themselves ever since their wedding night. She thinks on the countless women she has seen making their way out of the palace every other morning or so. Ashe's brow furrows in thought. _Something about them all_…

Suddenly, her eyes widen with realization. They have all had blonde hair. She pulls some of her own hair out in front of her face, as if she had forgotten and had to make sure she was right. _Just like mine_… _Dear, gods_.

--- --- ---

At breakfast the next morning, one of the few times a day when she actually saw her husband, she tells him that she is permanently returning to Rabanastre that very day. "I will have my things sent for when I get there, so the servants need not be troubled to pack them all today."

Al-Cid's groggy head shoots up to look at her. "And you have come to this decision without consulting me? Why? Why must you leave?" The volume of his own voice causes him to wince in pain and he holds his head in an attempt to calm it.

_Because I do not want to be around you. Because I cannot stomach the thought of you pretending to love me when you are loving someone else. Because I do not love you_…

"I thought that I might more effectively rule and attend to the needs of the people of Dalmasca if I were actually living in the country itself." Al-Cid begins to protest, but Ashe continues. "Letters take time to send across the Westersands and it is a dangerous journey for the messengers themselves. Mail-carrier airships can break down or crash. These are risks that would be largely avoided by my moving back to Dalmasca." Ashe looks up at him from her cup of hot tea. She is determined and has an expression to match.

Al-Cid stutters for a moment, trying to find something to say in protest. After a moment, he hangs his head down in defeat. "Fine. You shall have it your way, I suppose."

Ashe places her tea cup back on its saucer and stands. "Then I shall go now to prepare for the journey back to Rabanastre." She turns and leaves the room, taking slow strides and keeping her head high as she tries to look dignified and unconcerned, as she can feel sad eyes following her form out of the room.

Ashe sincerely hopes she will not be able to feel those eyes anymore when she is back in Dalmasca.


	3. Chapter Two: A Mind in the Past

**Author's Note: **Chapter Two is up. Thanks for all the reviews so far. I'm glad you guys are liking it:D As always, constructive criticism is appreciated.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy XII, or any other Final Fantasy for that matter, so please don't sue me. :D

**Chapter Two: A Mind in the Past**

--- Present Day ---

Ashe thought she would finally be happy back in Dalmasca, back in her homeland, when she determined to come back a year ago, but such has not been the case. With so many reminders of the past and none of her old friends around, Ashe has been feeling lonelier than ever. The palace is becoming more and more like a prison every day.

In a way, Ashe misses the days of the war. She misses adventuring around the world with everyone. Vaan, Penelo, Basch, Fran, Balthier. _Balthier_… She misses her friends terribly. She misses felling beasts in the plains, tromping around ancient ruins to further their cause, telling and listening to stories around campfires at night in the middle of nowhere. She misses it all.

That is why, for the past month, Ashe has been sneaking out of the palace.

Every few days, Ashe sneaks down to the palace entrance to the Garamsythe Waterway, where she has hidden a simple brown hooded cloak and one of her old swords and shields, and she fights her way through the monsters to get to the Lowtown entrance. The number of beasts has greatly diminished due to an extermination campaign begun about two years ago to rid the waterway of all manner of monsters for the safety of the maintenance workers. Ashe, with all of her battle experience, could easily take on those few that remained. She is somewhat glad the extermination crews can never get quite all of the monsters. Part of her enjoys fighting them. It reminds her of the old days.

Today, Ashe indulges herself again. Disguised in her peasant's cloak, she walks through the gate leading to Lowtown. Since Dalmasca regained her sovereignty, the citizens had returned to residing in Rabanastre proper and Lowtown had become a popular center for commerce, with all manner of merchants setting up stands along its winding ways. The only people who still resided in Lowtown are the poor, too impoverished to afford living above ground.

Ashe strolls along a less crowded walkway, mostly populated by sundries stands. She stops at a jewelry cart to admire the fine craftsmanship of a particular gold and sapphire armlet that had caught her eye from a distance. As she is setting it back down, Ashe sees a young girl out of the corner of her eye. Upon closer inspection, Ashe determines that the girl is probably around six years old and is very dirty, wearing very tattered clothes. The girl is staring up at the necklaces hanging on the side of the stand. Ashe follows the girl's gaze to a silver pendant inlaid with bright rubies, and she understands. Ashe bends down to the girl's eye level.

The girl looks at Ashe with large, blue eyes and Ashe smiles back to her. "Hello, there. My name is Amalia. What's yours?" The girl hesitates a moment. "Lily," she replies. "It's nice to meet you, Lily. Tell me, do you want that silver pendant hanging there?" Lily nods shyly. Ashe smiles and rises to her feet.

"Madam, I'll have this silver pendant, the only with the rubies here. How much will that be?" The merchant woman inspects the pendant briefly, then answers, "That one'll be 300, miss." Ashe reaches into the satchel at her side, retrieves the required gil, and hands it to the merchant, receiving the pendant in return. "Thank you, miss. Have a lovely day." Ashe smiles back to the merchant before kneeling back down to Lily.

Ashe places the pendant around Lily's neck and clasps it in the back. "There we go, Lily. It suits you very well. And," Ashe reaches back into her satchel, "here are 100 more for you to get whatever you like." Ashe places the notes into the pocket on Lily's dress. A wide smile bursts onto Lily's face. "Thank you, Missus Amalia!" Ashe watches as Lily skips off around the corner and smiles contentedly to herself.

"Well, feeling generous today, are we… Amalia? You never bought anything nice for me. It's almost enough the convince me you never cared for me at all." A familiar, deep, sarcastic voice comes from behind her, shaking her from her reverie. _It can't be. Is it really_…

Ashe spins around and is face to face with that familiar smirk, that slicked back hair, those deep hazel eyes. An eyebrow cocks, a voice speaks. "You did miss me, didn't you?"

Ashe stands aghast, not believing her eyes. _After so long_…_it is_…

"Balthier…" Ashe whispers, tears in her eyes.

Ashe's knees give out beneath her and the world darkens…


	4. Chapter Three: Those Same Old Lines

**Author's Note: **Hooray for chapter three, eh:D I've got chapter four already done, but I'm not going to post it until I'm done with chapter five. I don't want to get behind and then never finish the story (it's happened before… --). That would be no good. This one's kind of short, at least I think so, but I hope you enjoy it all the same. As always, constructive criticism is appreciated, as well as ceaseless praise. :D

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy XII, or any other Final Fantasy for that matter, so please don't sue me. I do, however, own this story and you will be in trouble if I find it posted somewhere else without my permission. :(

**Chapter Three: Those Same Old Lines**

Ashe's eyes flutter open. The image of Balthier above her comes into focus and Ashe looks around in semi-confusion. She is lying on the ground with her head resting on Balthier's leg. He is shooing away a small crowd of onlookers. "Go on, then. There's nothing to see here."

He looks down and sees that she is awake. "Ah, good to see you back with us, Miss Amalia. I must say, your reaction to my return was very flattering indeed, though a bit… dramatic, don't you think?" Balthier takes Ashe's hand and helps her to her feet. "For how long was I unconscious?" Ashe asks, placing her free hand on her forehead to stop her internal spinning. "Only a few moments. Luckily, I was there to break your fall and save you from almost certain injury," Balthier declares triumphantly, throwing her a debonair smile and offering her his arm. Ashe rolls her eyes as she accepts it, and then chuckles a bit.

They make small talk as they stroll together towards the exit to the street, a small group of confused bystanders dispersing as they go.

--- --- ---

Ashe and Balthier take seats at a table in a sparsely occupied back corner of The Sandsea, Balthier setting down his pint and Ashe setting down her cup of hot tea. Ashe removes her cloak and pins her hair back into a bun, so as to further confuse anyone who might recognize her. A few plaits fall back forward, framing her face nicely. Balthier raises an eyebrow. "Why, Your Majesty, however did you know that I prefer a woman with an up do?"

Ashe rolls her eyes. "Oh, please. Well, I see you're just as suave as you ever were, and with the same result." Balthier raises both eyebrows in inquiry. "Oh? You're hopelessly in love with me, then?" Ashe smirks. "I think you're utterly ridiculous and I wonder that your lines ever really work with any woman."

Balthier places a hand over his heart in mock pain. "Such stinging words, Princess. You break my heart. Ah, but you are a princess no more, are you, Queen Ashelia B'Nargin Dalmasca? Or, should I say, Rozarria?" Ashe clearly hears the contempt with which he says the last word and she lowers her head slightly, looking into her tea. "No, it is still Dalmasca, though I am wed to the emperor of that region, as you have obviously heard." _Of course he has heard. Don't be a fool, Ashe_. She raises her head back up to meet his eyes and cheerfully says, "But, enough of me. Do tell me of your adventures these past years. I'm sure you've had many, but I have heard little. Have you come to Rabanastre with Vaan, Penelo, and Fran? I have long missed all of them. I would love to see them." Ashe takes a sip from her tea.

"Sorry to disappoint you, then, Majesty." Balthier sits back in his chair and places his hands behind his head. "Well, no doubt due to the excellent tutelage of yours truly, Vaan and Penelo developed into exceptional pirates and, after a number of very successful ventures, bought their own airship, went off on their own, and I haven't seen them since. That was about two years ago.

"As for Fran, a few days ago, she left me to travel with her sister, Mjrn. We happened to meet her in a weapons shop in Balfonheim. You remember Mjrn, don't you? Of course you do. Anyway, Fran was saying something about 'sisterly bonds' and 'protecting her from ill-intentioned humes' or some such nonsense." Balthier spoke nonchalantly, but Ashe could just make out the pain behind his eyes. "So, I, being left cruelly all alone, have come here to Rabanastre to follow some leads as to a very valuable treasure to be got somewhere in the Westersands. And such is my story." Balthier takes a swig from his pint of Dalmasca's finest ale.

Ashe gives him a sympathetic smile. "I am sorry Fran had to leave you. You must be lonely." Balthier waved off her concern with a flick of his wrist. "Nonsense. You need not concern yourself, Highness. Now," he leans forward onto the table, "you must tell me why in all of Ivalice you would ever marry that insufferable prat, Al-Cid Margrace."

Ashe laughs aloud. "You only find him insufferable because he reminds you too much of yourself!" A look of shock and disgust twists Balthier's usually debonair expression. "Bah! Me, like that foppish twit? I would never stoop to such… ridiculousness as that! How dare you compare me to someone such as him? Shame on you, Highness!" Balthier took another long swig from his pint.

Ashe chuckles as she looks down and stirs her tea. "Anyway, it is not important, really. He offered to lend aid to Dalmasca should I marry him, so I did what I must for my people. I have not even seen him in quite some time." Ashe sips her tea. "Balthier," Ashe says, hesitating before continuing, almost afraid to ask, "why did you never come to see me? I..." her voice trails off to a whisper, "…missed you very much."

Balthier smirks. "Why, Your Majesty, I am seeing you now." Ashe chuckles a bit and looks up at him. "But this was not your plan. Balthier, you know what I mean."

Balthier's brow furrows slightly as he leans back and takes another drink from his pint. He is silent for a moment, then looks up at her, his expression all seriousness. Ashe gasps a bit. _Those eyes_… _I forgot how piercing those eyes could be_…

"I would have, but I wasn't sure if you would have wanted to see me, Ashelia." _Ashelia_… Ashe's heart skips a beat. "After that night, I… Well, then you got married, so I thought it would be better that I stay away. Besides, I wouldn't set a foot down in Rozarria for all the gil in Ivalice, lest I should soil my shoes. I would never be able to get the stain out," Balthier tries to joke, but solemnly takes another drink.

Ashe looks down into her tea and lets her mind wander back to that night. _That night_…


End file.
